Tired of Earthly Toilets? Upgrade to Flushinator™ 5000!

The Future of Precision Flush Technology

NEW!

Featuring Revolutionary Quantum Flushing Technology™

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Experience bathroom breaks before with the revolutionary Flushinator™ 5000! Using cutting-edge (and slightly unstable) technology direct from the Red Planet, this isn't just a a toilet... it's a journey! Forget ordinary flushes, prepare for a clean that defies expectations (and sometimes gravity) Features our patented Quantum Waste Disposal System™!

Unbelievable Features!

Discover the Alien Technology Inside!

Red Sand Heating Elements

Utilizes refined Quantum Excretion Matrix for supposedly superior, yet slightly unstable, waste disposal. Warning: May cause slight gravitational anomalies.

Anti-Gravity Waste Chamber™

Waste doesn't fall down, it just hovers menacingly until manually sucked into the Quantum Waste Collector™ with included gravity-defying tongs. Diagram pending approval from Galactic Command.

Phased Plasma Waste Disposal Control™

Offers settings from "Slightly Cleansed" to "Dimensional Disruption". Accuracy is... variable. Use at your own risk.

Interdimensional Waste Notification System™

Occasionally broadcasts waste status back to Galactic Command. Privacy policy available in Quantum Encrypted format only.

What Earthlings Say!

Don't Just Take Our Word For It! (Results May Vary)

"My waste is flushed before I even sit down! Thanks, Flushinator™ 5000!

"The anti-gravity waste chamber saved my dignity! And my bathroom!"

"I think... I think it accelerated my metabolism? 5 stars!"

Order Your Flushinator™ 5000 Today!

Get Ready for Interdimensional Flushes! (Shipping from Mars may take 6-8 Earth minutes)

40% OFF

$1,333.33 (3,999.99 ₢) $799.99 (2,399.97 ₢) + 1 Small Moon Rock

LIMITED TIME OFFER!

• Free Martian-English Dictionary
• Interplanetary 5-Year Warranty
• Anti-Gravity Crumb Tray Included

* ₢ = Martian Credits, official currency of Mars colonies

Frequently Asked Questions

Your Burning Questions Answered (Maybe)

Q: Is it safe?

A: Define "safe". Our Martian engineers assure us the radiation levels are *mostly* within acceptable limits for short-term exposure.

Q: Where do I get Martian Power Converters?

A: Currently backordered. Try bartering with a passing asteroid miner.

Q: Will it summon Martian overlords?

A: Please consult warranty section 7b, subsection Gamma-9 (written in Martian hieroglyphs).

Q: Does it work with bagels?

A: Bagel compatibility pending results from dimensional rift analysis.

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